Every now and then I stop to think about the kind of mom I want to be, the kind of mom I hope I am and the kind of mom that I want to change. Life can get crazy and we make mistakes. My prayer is that my mistakes are far and few in between, but honestly sometimes they are close and too many for my liking. I fail. I struggle with the balance of household chores, school, and just being and enjoying my kids. Maybe I stress a little too much sometimes. I will never be the perfect mom that I want to be, but I will never give up trying. I have an awesome God who stands by me and gives me strength when I need it and forgives when I need it. I have a husband who encourages me to stand up and try again when I fail. I have loving kids that forgive in a heartbeat, they show me God's love in their quick and unconditional forgiveness and love.
So what do I imagine when I think of the mom I want to be? I think of snuggles, lots and lots of snuggles. Have I snuggled my kids enough today? I think of hugs and kisses, an over abundance of hugs and kisses. Have I hugged and kissed my kids enough today? I think of play, inside, outside, silly, good old fashioned fun play. Have I played enough with my kids today? Have I played with my kids at all? I think of crafts and baking. Have I been creative with my kids today? I think of laughter. Have I laughed with my kids today? Can we laugh more? I think of smiles. Have I smiled at my kids today? I imagine one day when my kids are grown and they're looking back on life's memories, they will have more happy memories than they can count. I imagine they will remember the Christmas cookies we baked and decorated, yes it was messy and they may not have been the 'prettiest' Christmas cookies, but they were our Christmas cookies and so much more. They were our memories. I imagine they will remember climbing trees and Mama taking pictures and saying how strong they were. I imagine they will remember all those silly stories we made up that were so funny we would crack up together. I imagine they will remember hide-and-seek, telling jokes, walks, bike rides, dolphin cruises and so much more. I imagine that when they remember; a smile will sneak it's way onto their face, they will feel warm, happy, content and loved.
We don't know how long we have. "Life is but a vapor". We need to live this way everyday, not in going places and doing things, making checks off our bucket lists. But in loving, being and giving. So I'm off to take some of my own advice and live this day loving, being and giving to the fullest.